With a Burning Brightness of Hope

Well, it's been a while since I have visited the blogging world, but sometimes life gives you more to share than you could ever express to just your journal.

General conference weekend is something that I have come to look forward to every 6 months.  This became even more true when my younger brother passed away.  There is nothing quite as healing as a spiritual "recharge" for a weekend.  The comfort that the Brethren can offer extends beyond any worldly comfort I could seek for.  I have gained a profound testimony of the mantle each of them wear as the men called to lead the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I know that they are inspired leaders and speak to us about what we need to hear.  I have two examples that I will share.

Back in the April 2012 conference, just 4 months after Zach passed away, President Henry B. Eyring gave a talk entitled "Mountains to Climb."  In it, he talked about the challenges that we face in mortality and how these challenges are used to teach us and the Lord guides us through the challenges.  The loss of a loved one is perhaps one of the hardest tests of mortality one can experience.  Sudden or expected, loss is loss and each individual is effected in some manner.  I have thought about the mountain I have been climbing.  The struggle to reach the top would be impossible without the Gospel.  I have been knocked to my knees asking for comfort more than a few times.  The beauty of the Atonement is that you don't have to endure pain or grief alone--there is Someone who knows our individual pain.  When the climb of the mountain has made me so tired that I didn't think I could walk one step further, I have felt the Savior lift me and carry me until I could stand on my feet once more.  As I listened to President Eyring's talk, I could not help but think of how faith in the Savior truly has been the one sure foundation that I could hold onto.  In all of the trials of life, no matter how big or small, we must learn to rely upon the Savior for our strength.  With Him on your side lifting you up, you can and will overcome everything.

This conference weekend I was searching for answers.  I thought about all of the different things that I had particular questions about and prayed for guidance about what questions to ask.  As I listened to the talks today, I realized that I had been searching for something that I didn't even realize was in my heart. A very unexpected talk was given today that I completely captured my attention and cast aside all of my minor worries.  It was a talk given by Elder Shayne Bowen of the Seventy.  In one of the first lines of his talk, he stated, "The Lord takes many away because they are too pure for this world and are saved from the influence of men."  As soon as he stated this, I (as expected) thought of my brother, Zach.  He was thirteen when he very unexpectedly left us in December 2011.  I listened to Elder Bowen's talk in complete rapture, feeling as though he had written the talk for my family.  He talked about how the feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair can be swallowed up in a fulness of joy that can be brought to pass by the wondrous Atonement.  He also stated that through sacred, personal experiences, Christ can give us a new heart and we can become a new person.  I have felt this change in my own life and am grateful every day for the family that raised me to help me come to know my Savior personally.  Although the death of my brother brought with it feelings of sorrow that filled my heart, I can say with a firm conviction that I know we are not alone on our journey in life.  I have come to know my Savior and Heavenly Father in a way that I could not have in any other experience of life.  I know They live and that They guide this church.  I know that through the good times and the hard times, we can reach out our hands and feel that the veil is not so thick that we are left alone.  Nothing and no one is as powerful as the Savior of mankind.  Of this I am sure.

As those of you who are listening to conference search for answers to the questions that are filling your mind, I pray that you find the comfort you need and feel of the Lord's love for you.  Never lose site of the hope that can come through the sweet peace of the Gospel--it is real, it is true, and it blesses the lives of all who seek the truth with an open heart.

My brother Zach and I in August 2010, dropping me off in Provo for my first semester at BYU